FasterSelf V: Fast(ing) Five

This is part V of the series FasterSelf, Fast (ing) Five. If you haven’t read the fourth chapter of this series, do so here:

FasterSelf IV: Fast(ing) and Furious

Welcome back to another edition of FasterSelf. As I write this, I’m on day 28 of my fast- it’s been a whole February since I started. I won’t lie to you, dear reader, I am currently drinking one of these damnable sparkling waters again. I know, I know, I should be ashamed of myself, and I would be, if they weren’t so good. Sue me.

What else is new? Well, due to the fact that in Reno, winter never seems to end, coupled with the reality that I’ve lost over forty pounds so far, I’ve been (literally?) freezing my ass off. Of course, as I write this it’s a pleasant 70 degrees outside, but I know better than to trust that at this point. I never thought I would say it, but I actually miss North Carolina’s lack of seasons for the first time in my life. This is deeply upsetting to me in a way you will never understand unless you heard me complain about NC weather for the majority of my time there. Fortunately for me, and unfortunately for those of you who are laughing at that, we have no humidity and also In-N-Out, so take that, you rat bastards.

As far as the fasting goes, there is one major downside that I have thus far forgotten to mention- no matter how much you brush your teeth, your mouth will taste terrible and your breath will smell worse. Imagine waking up after a night of partying on a couch somewhere, teeth unbrushed, dentist weeping profusely- that kind of thing, minus the potential benefit of having the lingering taste of cheap liquor in your oral cavity. Nope, it’s just going to be the taste of mouth, but amplified in a way that can only be understood by someone who hasn’t tasted anything but mouth for the past month.

This is around the point where people start noticing that you’ve lost a significant amount of weight, so the inevitable (and innumerable) repetitive fasting conversations begin. Interestingly, however, unlike the last time I fasted, people seem to be familiar with intermittent fasting.

“Oh, intermittent fasting? I’ve done that.”

“No, just -mittent fasting.”

(pause for dramatic effect)

*Cue normal shock and awe*

I have thus far met two people that were not shocked (or awed,) which is a nice change of pace, in my book. It’s nice to know that other people are familiar with fasting, and it’s much easier to convince a crowd of people that you’re not insane or living out a death-wish if there is another person to back up your claims. (Look up the “First Follower Theory” for the science behind that.)

One strange occurrence this week is that I somehow managed to sleep for 12 straight hours one night. I’m not sure why this was the case, but it’s definitely notable and unusual for fasting. My theory is that I was a bit on the sleep-deprived end at work this week, and I may have just been repaying my sleep debt. Regardless, I hate sleeping for that long because you end up going to bed later than usual that evening, and the cycle perpetuates itself. In other sleep related news, I had another strange food dream last night, although it wasn’t a nightmare, so that was nice. Strangely enough, food dreams whilst fasting seem to be a great way for one to realize that one is dreaming.

That’s all I have for you this week. Until next time!

FasterSelf VI: The Fate of the Fast

Garrett Dailey

Garrett Dailey is a formerly homeless D.I.Y. philosopher who believes that one cannot understand the universe without first understanding themselves. To that end, he has committed to a lifelong journey to become the best version of himself, and in the process, create a community for others who wish to do the same. May we all be led from ignorance to the truth. Pros aion Aletheia aionios.

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